Letters to my Littles

I’ve been struggling with this whole “mom” thing lately and thought that maybe someone else might be too, so I thought I would share what I’ve found just in case it’ll help someone else.

I am not a professional parent by any stretch of the imagination. I’m not a child psychologist, psychiatrist, or anything like that. I’m just a mom of three girls who is trying to do her best to help them be the best they can be.

My biggest fear when it comes to raising my daughters is killing their spirits. I don’t want to suppress their creativity, energy, or happiness when I have to teach them tough things – things like “stop screaming in my face before I lose my cool” or “If you wake up your baby sisters again, you’re going to time-out (again).”

The two-year-old is probably the kindest and most compassionate person I’ve met (other than my husband – she definitely gets it from him). Except for when it comes to her parents, sisters, cousin – anyone she has frequent contact with. She will scream in my face if I tell her no (like stick her face in my face, open her mouth as wide as possible, and let out a shrill shriek that could make a dog run for cover). She has two little sisters (twins) who are 10 months old. She’ll take toys away from them, wake them up, etc.

I get that these things are normal – it’s called the “terrible twos” for a reason, and she’ll probably grow out of some of it. Still, as her mother, one of her parents, it’s my responsibility (as well as her father’s) to help teach her how to treat others with respect and courtesy.

So, how do I let her be her while still teaching her these things? I know the first step is to lead by example, so the first thing I need to do is check myself in each of the things I think she needs to learn. If I want her to be kind, I need to SHOW her how to be kind. If I want her to stop screaming in my face, I need to SHOW her how to respond differently.

But WHAT are the things – characteristics, personality traits, skills – that she needs to know? Is there a list somewhere that I’m not aware of?

The struggle is real. Seriously. Real enough that it’s been on my mind for weeks, if not months. I have no idea what I’m doing and I know I’m doing my best, but I’m also aware that my 2yo is already smarter than I am and I’m going to have to keep up with her somehow. So, honestly, I took my question to God.

He had plenty to tell me. I found the list I was looking for in the scriptures.

I’m going to pull that list apart and dissect it in a way that makes sense to and for my family and me. I don’t expect that it will work for everyone, but in the off chance that it will work for someone, I’m sharing it.

There’s a list right over there of the things I’ve learned. Each is a link to a post just about that topic. Links are included to references and such that I’ve found helpful, insightful, and sometimes just fun.

Feel free to leave your comments – it takes a village to raise a child and I’m grateful for my village.