A Punch in the Face

As I was studying my scriptures tonight, I came across a talk given in an April General Conference back in 2015 by President Packer, titled “The Plan of Happiness.”
If you’re struggling through infertility, to call this talk “difficult” would be an understatement.

I honestly didn’t even start reading this talk with infertility in mind. This week’s Come Follow Me lesson is more focused on the Plan of Salvation (also referred to as the Plan of Happiness) – hence coming across this talk. But President Packer implies that true happiness cannot be achieved unless we have children.

Before anyone goes nuts or gets frustrated, please give me a minute or two. I’m going to leave that statement there and then explain what I think he’s talking about, as it applies to those of us who have struggled, or continue to struggle, through infertility.

On the surface, his talk is HARD to take.

There’s this piece, for one:

“But romantic love is incomplete; it is a prelude. Love is nourished by the coming of children, who spring from that fountain of life entrusted to couples in marriage. Conception takes place in a wedded embrace between husband and wife.”

We could scream things like “NO! It doesn’t!” or “Not for everyone!” or “AHHH! Am I EVER going to know what the fullness of love feels like?!” or “Conception doesn’t take place in a wedded embrace – it takes place in a sterile exam room full of doctors and nurses!” or “Fill in your favorite one here!”

We’ve all felt those feelings and some of us want to scream them while others want to just hide under a blanket in a dark closet and sob.

But he’s not done. There are two things in here for us.

First, there’s this. And this is the hard part.

“Temptations are ever present. Because the adversary cannot beget life, he is jealous toward all who have that supernal power. He and those who followed him were cast out and forfeited the right to a mortal body. “He seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself” (2 Nephi 2:27). He will tempt, if he can, to degrade, to corrupt, and, if possible, to destroy this gift by which we may, if we are worthy, have eternal increase (see D&C 132:28-31).”

Ok, now bear with me for a second or two here. I’m going to break this down the way that it hit me tonight. This paragraph hit me in the face. Full on, double-fisted, one-two punch to the face.

“Temptations are ever present.”

It is a temptation to scream those things we so desperately want others to understand. It’s a temptation because it shows a … gap in our faith. Skip to the end of the paragraph – he (Satan) wants to destroy our gift of eternal increase. We’ve been given the gift of eternal increase if we choose to keep ourselves worthy to enter into the Celestial Kingdom with our God after this life is over. Eternal increase. Not just an increase to our posterity in mortality, but also in immortality. The gap (if you will) in our faith is that we become shortsighted and forget that the children we may (or may not) have in this life are only the beginning of our posterity. We can increase our eternal family in the next life too.

“Because the adversary cannot beget life, he is jealous toward all who have that supernal power. He and those who followed him were cast out and forfeited the right to a mortal body.”

We have that power, because of the Plan of Happiness, though it may be our challenge to get through without in mortality.

Let me say that another way. Because we chose to follow Jesus Christ in our pre-earth life, we were given mortal bodies. Because we have mortal bodies, we have the power of procreation. Our bodies are not perfect, YET, but after the resurrection we have been promised perfected bodies. While our reproductive pieces and parts may not work now, once our bodies have been perfected, they will. Satan knows this too – it’s not a secret. Because he knows you and I have that power, he uses our imperfect bodies against us.

He is the one who tells us we’re not good enough.

He is the one who tells us that we are defective.

He is the one who tells us that God doesn’t love us enough to give us the ability to bear children.

He is the one who tells us that God doesn’t trust us enough to send His children to us.

He is the one who wants us to feel like failures because he knows that if we feel like failures when we’re at church we won’t go.

That’s the temptation, and “temptations are ever present.”

Ok – that was the first part that was for us. In a nutshell, I think President Packer is trying to tell us to beware of those temptations.

And then he gives us a promise.

“When we speak of marriage and family life, there inevitably comes to mind, ‘What about the exceptions?’ Some are born with limitations and cannot beget children. Some innocents have their marriage wrecked because of the infidelity of their spouse. Others do not marry and live in single worthiness.

“For now I offer this comfort: God is our Father! All the love and generosity manifest in the ideal earthly father is magnified in Him who is our Father and our God beyond the capacity of the mortal mind to comprehend. His judgments are just; His mercy without limit; His power to compensate beyond any earthly comparison. ‘If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable’ (1 Corinthians 15:19).”

We are children of God and will be compensated “beyond any earthly comparison.” The only thing we have to do is to keep an eternal perspective.

Way easier said than done. An eternal perspective is one of the hardest things there is to do. Especially after a failed IUI or IVF. Especially in the middle of a miscarriage or after finding out your follicle released earlier than expected and you missed it (again).

The challenge is to keep the hope of an eternal increase.

Eternal increase.

Eternal.

When it starts is irrelevant. Once it does, it will never end.